Just like that one year has passed! Feels like just last week I was having the most stressful week leading up to my big day haha. Of course I absolutely loved my wedding but I certainly pictured the week before my wedding being FAR more enjoyable and chilled than it actually was, but that’s a story for another day…
I’m grateful for the person I’ve become in the past year, I’m grateful for how far we have come as a couple, what we’ve learnt and how much we’ve developed. So in addition to the post I wrote on what we learned six months in I thought I’d share some of the major lessons I’ve learnt in my first year of marriage.
- We don’t need to be glued at the hip…
It’s ok to have some me time without feeling guilty about it. It’s actually healthy to have some hobbies you can enjoy on your own without your spouse. That you’re compatible as a couple, doesn’t mean that all interests will be shared. You spend the majority of your time together so it’s only normal that you would like to enjoy some time spent separately whether it’s at work, socialising etc. Particularly as I am only child, I still need that time alone to rejuvenate, be with my thoughts or just chill. Having that time by yourself or with your friends helps you to grow as an individual, so being married doesn’t mean you’ve stop growing as a person does it? There’s so many reasons why you don’t need to be glued at the hip all in the name of marriage and your shouldn’t feel bad about it.
- I don’t need to be superwoman…
I feel that when I got married, I put myself under undue pressure to be the perfect wife, pressure that my husband wasn’t putting on me at all. I felt that I had to do it at all: if the house wasn’t spotless then I’ve failed, if my meals had too much salt or were too oily then I’ve failed, if I wasn’t able to successfully manage my career and my home then I’ve failed. Call it societal pressure but it was pressure that wasn’t healthy and could be destructive to myself and my marriage so I had to snap out of it because honestly, I wasn’t fooling anyone but myself, and the person that i was trying to impress didn’t marry me because he wanted me to be superwoman, but because of who I already was, me! Doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t make an effort to keep my house in order and also strive for the best in my life and my career… As long as I kept it in mind that he married me for who I am, not an image of what I felt a super wife should be, and also remembered that I’m human, I’m good.
- Communication is key…
Being a Communications specialist, I thought I was an ace at communicating, until I got married… We both discovered that we actually communicate quite differently and our actions or words could easily be misconstrued. SO we had to take the time to learn how to communicate effectively with each other. In line with this, we also learnt to never assume but instead ask! We need to communicate and discuss everything to avoid confusion and hurt feelings, and also accept that we won’t agree on everything so disagree respectfully, as far as it has been communicated effectively.
- Trust God
It won’t always be perfect, it won’t always be easy, but being very spiritual, I trust that if God brought me this far, He will get me through this too. I had to constantly remind myself that it’s my faith in God that led me to where I am and got us to where so I should trust that He will always make a way and give us the wisdom and strength to handle any trying situations.
What are some of the marriage lessons you’ve learnt? Anything that surprises you here? Anything you’d add? Comment down below with your thoughts or tips.
P.S As a little treat, I thought I’d throw it back to my wedding and give you a video snippet of the day, enjoy 🙂
Mimi Osa x
Author: Mimi Osa
Mimi Osa is a Blogger, PR, Communications and Events Consultant & Freelance writer .